Posted by Paul Kennedy (68.123.106.31) on June 24, 2005 at 8:56:27 p.m.:
In Reply to: DastoumEssay2 posted by Sara Dastoum on June 23, 2005 at 9:47:02 p.m.:
Reader's Name: Paul Kennedy
Writers Name: Sara Dastoum
1) Review the assignment requirements. Read the essay. In your opinion, does the writer answer the essay assignment in this piece? Explain. I think you did a good job answering the assignment. You clearly used two elements of drama conflict and protagonist.
2) Write the thesis statement here: The inclusion of both a conflict and a protagonist in Lorraine Hansberry’s play A Raisin in the Sun help in supporting its theme.
3) Does the thesis attempt to prove a specific idea, or is it too general? The thesis does attempt to prove a specific idea which is the theme of the play but I feel the theme changes from: a family full of dreams, paragraph 1 “The theme for A Raisin in the Sun is about a family full of dreams.” to a family chasing after dreams. In paragraph 5 you specificly say, “Hansberry’s character Walter truly contributes to the theme of chasing after dreams…”
4) What specific evidence does the writer provide to support the thesis? The writer uses conflict and a protagonist.
5) Does the writer explicitly show how this evidence supports his/her view? Are connections made for the reader? You did a good job with your evidence and I feel the connections are made for the reader.
6) Does each paragraph connect with the thesis? Each paragraph clearly connects directly to the thesis.
7) Is there additional evidence which the writer has missed? Try to use more quotes that shows us their emotions about their dreams.
8) Does the conclusion sum up the writer's point? You did a great job summing up your point in the conclusion.
9) Give the writer at least one suggestion for improving this paper. I think you use the title of the play to much in your essay.