Posted by TAtyana Lazukova (24.23.55.15) on June 25, 2005 at 8:26:37 p.m.:
In Reply to: Hartmanessay2-Rough Draft posted by Katie Hartman on June 21, 2005 at 3:58:15 p.m.:
Reader's Name: Lazukova Tatyana
Writers Name: Katie Hartman
1) Review the assignment requirements. Read the essay. In your opinion, does the writer answer the essay assignment in this piece? Explain.
The essay has an interesting introduction where the writer identifies two elements of drama she will be analyzing. Body paragraphs are linked to each other and support the main idea of the essay. Conclusion is very strong and summarizes ideas discussed in the essay. IN my opinion, the writer answered the essay assignment in this paper.
2) Write the thesis statement here:
The writer doesn’t state clearly the thesis.
3) Does the thesis attempt to prove a specific idea, or is it too general?
When I finished reading the essay, I understood that the writer wanted to discuss how exposition and conflict demonstrate racism and discrimination.
3) What specific evidence does the writer provide to support the thesis?
To support the main idea of the essay, the author uses dialogue to support the main idea of the essay.
4) Does the writer explicitly show how this evidence supports his/her view? Are connections made for the reader?
By analyzing the examples from the text in paragraphs 4,6,7 the demonstrates how this evidence supports her views.
6) Does each paragraph connect with the thesis?
Every paragraph is well developed and is connected with the main idea of the paper. The writer’s goal was to prove that the family faced discrimination.
7) Is there additional evidence which the writer has missed?
I don’t think that the writer has missed any evidence. All information provided in the essay is strong and supports the writer’s point of view.
8) Does the conclusion sum up the writer's point?
Conclusion is very strong and sums up the writer’s point if view. It restates the main idea of the paper and suggests that exposition and conflict have a huge impact on the story because without exposition and conflict the play would have no meaning and the theme would not be supported.
9) Give the writer at least one suggestion for improving this paper.
I would suggest you to clearly word your thesis.