Posted by Kammy Sahota (68.190.202.121) on June 23, 2005 at 9:46:30 p.m.:
In Reply to: Hernandezessay2-Roughdraft posted by Lourdes Hernandez on June 23, 2005 at 7:51:28 p.m.:
Reader's Name: Kammy Sahota
Writers Name: Lourdes Hernandez
1) Review the assignment requirements. Read the essay. In your opinion, does the writer answer the essay assignment in this piece? Explain.
The writer does not pick two elements of drama and then explain how they relate to the plot or subplot. In this way the writer has not completed the objectives of the assignment.
2) Write the thesis statement here:
I am unable to find the thesis statement in this paper as it is not clearly stated in the introductions.
3) Does the thesis attempt to prove a specific idea, or is it too general?
There is no clear thesis for me to answer this question, or the thesis is not clear enough for a reader to find in the paper.
4) What specific evidence does the writer provide to support the thesis?
The author seems to be pointing to how the family hopes to have financial prosperity through his selection of quotes.
5) Does the writer explicitly show how this evidence supports his/her view? Are connections made for the reader?
Connections to the elements of drama or a clear thesis are not made beyond the writer illustrating that everyone in the family had big dreams.
6) Does each paragraph connect with the thesis?
The paragraphs tend to summarize the play as opposed to being connected to a central thesis. They do follow the theme of the family wanting to achieve their dreams but it does not connect to a thesis that relates to the elements of drama.
7) Is there additional evidence which the writer has missed?
Once the writer picks what elements of drama are being analyzed then evidence will be needed to support those points.
8) Does the conclusion sum up the writer's point?
The conclusion is the only place is saw an attempt to develop a thesis and that needs to better connect to the story and the elements of drama in order to achieve clarity in the assignment.
9) Give the writer at least one suggestion for improving this paper.
Check for grammatical errors and pick two elements of drama to weave into your point of the family having big dreams.