Posted by Michael Addy (66.205.140.92) on June 24, 2005 at 7:02:10 p.m.:
In Reply to: Hernandezessay2-Roughdraft posted by Lourdes Hernandez on June 23, 2005 at 7:51:28 p.m.:
Reader's Name: Michael Addy
Writers Name: Lourdes Hernandez
1) Review the assignment requirements. Read the essay. In your opinion, does the writer answer the essay assignment in this piece? Explain.
I think that the essay assignment was not answered in this essay.
2) Write the thesis statement here:
I could not find the thesis statement.
3) Does the thesis attempt to prove a specific idea, or is it too general?
n/a
4) What specific evidence does the writer provide to support the thesis?
n/a
5) Does the writer explicitly show how this evidence supports his/her view? Are connections made for the reader?
I thought that the essay was more of a summary and overview with a conclusion of a hopeful future of the Younger family and there are support quotes throughout, but I believe the assignment of the paper was missed.
6) Does each paragraph connect with the thesis?
n/a
7) Is there additional evidence which the writer has missed?
8) Does the conclusion sum up the writer's point?
The summary and body paragraphs lead up to the conclusion of the writer, but again, it seems more of a summary.
9) Give the writer at least one suggestion for improving this paper.
I would check the grammar and just see how you could use what you already have written in context with elements of drama.