Posted by Gary Walmer (64.145.220.194) on July 6, 2005 at 6:53:28 p.m.:
In Reply to: essay 3 Rough Draft posted by Tatyana Lazukova on July 5, 2005 at 8:21:22 p.m.:
Reader's Name: Gary Walmer
Writers Name: Tatyana Lazukova
1) Review the assignment requirements. Read the essay. In your opinion, does the writer answer the essay assignment in this piece? Explain.
I was not sure if the writer choose Essay Assignment # 3 or #4. In either case the writer examines many elements of poetry, and does so very well. The only issue here is it becomes a more general essay with greater emphasis on two of the elements, tone and diction. It appears the writer might have been using the RJ#3 as the assignment instead of the 4 options for essay #3. She did a great job however.
2) Write the thesis statement here: I think it is summarized as : The tone and the diction of the poem clearly demonstrate that poetry is genuine.
3) Does the thesis attempt to prove a specific idea, or is it too general? Yes it is specific.
4) What specific evidence does the writer provide to support the thesis? The writer examines the entire poem and incorporates the two elements into her discussion.
5) Does the writer explicitly show how this evidence supports his/her view? Are connections made for the reader? Yes the writer attempts to support her view and tries to connect the view to the writing. I did not see the same conclusions as the writer but that is the beauty of poetry.
6) Does each paragraph connect with the thesis? The attempt is made to bring the two elements to each paragraph.
7) Is there additional evidence, which the writer has missed? I feel the poem is more about the writer’s examination of true poetry compared to poetry which might be named as such, but is nothing more then the elitists writings. Poetry is true when it allows the reader the ability to bring the writings to life with the vividness of their own imagination. I think the writer (Student) could examine more of the tone and diction from a line to line analysis. This of course is only my opinion.
8) Does the conclusion sum up the writer's point?
Yes she does a great job tying the different elements to the form of the poem.
9) Give the writer at least one suggestion for improving this paper. I think the writer did a fantastic job. Possibly making sure the writer has chosen the right essay assignment would be good. (smile) Good job in on a tough essay.
>Tatyana Lazukova
>Jeanne Guerin
>ENGWR 301
>Essay 3
>July 7,2005
>
>The title of the poem “Poetry” reveals the intentions of the author to talk about poetry and establishes the setting and the speaker’s situation. Marianne Moore opens the poem by saying that she “dislikes …this fiddle”. This sentence of the poem attracts the reader’s attention and interest. The reader knows that the author of the poem is talking about poetry, and that the author is a respected poet. In “Poetry”, Marianne Moore develops her argument by trying to convince the reader to believe in what she is saying; however, the argument seems to be more emotional, then logical. Marianne Moore uses many elements of poetry to convey the argument that there is a good poetry and there is a bad poetry and that some people like the poetry and some people don’t. The tone and the diction of the poem clearly demonstrate that poetry is genuine, even if it may seem to be fiddle and raw material, may sound silly and unnatural. [p 1]
>Tone can be defined as the writer’s attitude toward the subject, the mood created by all the elements in the poem. The tone of the poem “Poetry” is equivalent to the mood it creates in the reader. The reader is involved in thinking about poetry. The author of the poem wants the reader to decide whether he likes or dislikes the poetry. The poem “Poetry” by Marianne Moore gives its readers clues about how to feel about poetry. Moore’s poem begins with a tone of hatred. The author achieves this tone by using such words as “dislike” and “this fiddle” in the first line and “a perfect contempt for it” in the second line. The overall tone of the poem hits the reader right in the face. To support her point of view, Marianne Moore names important defects of poetry such as “high sounding interpretation”, and “unintelligible” poems (lines 7-8). [p 2]
>Later the tone of the poem shifts to demonstrate that the author of the poem means something different than what she is saying. Throughout the entire poem, the author of the poem sounds as though she has a conversation about the poetry because the poem is written in a very conversational manner. Marianne Moore wants to convince someone in her opinion about the significance of poetry and she demonstrates very good speaking skills by being an understandable conversation partner. She clearly states in the first line that she also dislikes the poetry and “there are things that are important beyond this fiddle”. ( line 1, ) To demonstrate the writer’s negative attitude toward the poetry and to create the reader’s mood, Marianne Moore also uses the words “perfect contempt” in the second line. The tone in the first two lines is disrespectful and ribald toward the poetry because there are no end-rhymes, no romantic language. The reader can imagine the writer deeply thinking about the poetry and the reasons why she dislikes it. [p 3]
>As the poem progresses, Marianne Moore shifts the tone of the poem and talks about the importance of poetry. The words “one discovers in at after all, a place for the genuine” (lines 2-3) give the feeling that the tone of contempt for the poetry, established in the first two lines of the poem, is ambivalent as the author of the poem admits that the poetry is genuine. As we can see, line three of the poem alters the tone introduced in the first two lines through the careful choice of words. The words in line three establish the feeling that Marianne Moore means more about poetry than she says. The tone in line three presents the tension between what the author of the poem asserts and what she ends up claiming at the end of the poem. The reader can feel here the positive sides and significance of poetry. The reader understands that the tone in line three is ambivalent because Marianne Moore writes a poem about poetry; therefore, how truly does she hate the poetry? The tone in line three is hopeful and its effect on the overall tone is enduring. [p 4]
>The shift in tone that occurs in lines 10-11 when the author says “we do not admire what we cannot understand” confirms the feeling that the author doesn’t really dislike poetry. She is just trying to understand and explain why some people hate poetry and who really likes it. Normal syntax and normal word patterns emphasize the author’s sympathy with those who don’t like “unintelligible” poetry. [p 5]
>Later in the poem, the writer’s language becomes more descriptive and the tone more definite. The author of the poem names things that she likes about poetry such a
s “elephants pushing, a wild horse taking a roll, a tireless wolf under a tree”. (line 13) Marianne Moore also states that “all these phenomena are important”.(line 18) As Marianne Moore lists things that she likes about poetry and that useful and important for understanding poetry, it contributes to the reader’s understanding of the tone and Moore’s true feelings about poetry. [p 6]
> The tone in the last sentence is positive and healthy. The words in the last sentence emphasize the tone, but they have clearly been affected by the negative tone demonstrated in the first two lines. The author of the poem uses an authoritative and witty tone to list many defects of poetry. The author of the poem believes that poetry’s biggest disadvantage is the lack of genuineness. [p 7]
>As we can see, there are clear changes in the tone over the length of the poem, from the deathly unpleasantness of the first two lines to the sincere belief that there is a place in poetry for the genuine and there are people who like the poetry. Such a dramatic shift in the tone is achieved by the diction of the poem. The author of the poem uses diction to reflect the tone of the poem and the way that Marianne Moore feels about the poetry and about people who like and dislike it. Diction includes both the choice and the order of words. Diction is usually separated into vocabulary and syntax. [p 8]
>The choice and the order of words in “Poetry” display that the author means more than she is saying and she doesn’t really dislike the poetry. Marianne Moore employs both word choice and word order to weaken the tone established in the first two lines of the poem. The author of the poem ends lines often with unstressed words: "not because a" (6), "because they are" (7), "business documents and" (17). By doing that the author of the poem wants to reflect the real tone of the poem and to deliver the message about her true feelings about the poetry. As we can see, there is a big difference and tension between what Marianne Moore says about the poetry and what she really means and feels. [p 9]
>The syntax and vocabulary of the poem "Poetry" seem to belong in a business correspondence or academic argumentation; as Marianne Moore often uses business-like vocabulary and phrases, such as "things that are important"(6), “the same thing may be said for" (line 9), "One must make a distinction" (line 18), "the result is not" (line 19), "for inspection" (line 24) to demonstrate the raw material of poetry. [p 10]
>Marianne Moore employs diction to support the main idea of her poem. She believes that poetry should be a combination of imagination and reality. She supports her opinion by suggesting that true poetry can present "imaginary gardens with real toads in them." Toads are typically not considered pretty creatures; therefore, the author uses toads as a metaphor to express something unpleasant and maybe slimy. Although the poem begins by exploring negative feelings about poetry, it finally overcomes these feelings and moods by providing a logical explanation of Moore’s point of view. Marianne Moore uses tone and diction to convey the argument that poetry is important. However, there is a good poetry and there is a bad poetry and that some people like the poetry and some people don’t. [p 11]
>
>As we can see, “Poetry” by Marianne Moore is a very thoughtful, meaningful and interesting poem. The author of the poem uses elements of poetry to reveal the theme of the poem. Through the use of the tone and diction, Marianne Moore makes the argument about significance of poetry. Many people dislike poetry because of its obscurity. At the same time, Moore insists that the reader must demand “the raw material” of genuine poetry. [p 12]