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Does Old Age Have Meaning? s15

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I. Introduction
NOTE: With special thanks to Professor Chevraux for contributing her research material for this lecture.  

"The idea of successful aging rejects negative stereotypes of aging but is not based on the denial of real losses in function in later life but instead encourages people to optimize capacities that remain while compensating for inevitable losses. It involves the psychological side of aging as it measures life satisfaction and well-being in the face of the challenges of aging."  Moody,2006

What Moody is saying is that the idea of aging as well as we can  (successful aging) does not ignore the real losses that some experience in old age. Successful aging requires us to question negative stereotypes, such as all older people drive slow, or all older people end up in nursing homes and requires that we figure out how to remain as happy emotionally, strong physically and active socially as we can while we compensate for age related changes. Older adults can be satisfied with their lives even in the face of age related changes.

Too often the loss of fulfilling work, loss of relationships, relocation or a decline in physical health represents some of the major events in later life.

These events would be difficult for any of us.  They are even more  challenging to an elder’s usual methods of finding consolation and meaning in life. Sometimes after such major losses, a spiritual impasse or decline follows and an elder may feel despair and hopelessness. Their previous reservoir of coping skills may fail because of changes in resources, mobility, or options (i.e. driving, frailty or desire). When we are stressed or feeling down each of us has coping skills we use to adjust and adapt to the situation.

1. Coping with loss:

When you or I suffer a loss, we have skills we use to regain our balance. We can call a friend, maybe go somewhere like the movies or engage in what I call "retail therapy" (go shopping), play a sport, or various other  activities to relieve our emotional stress. 

Many of the options  available to younger people are not options for older adults, especially those who no longer drive or who have limited mobility. 

After suffering a loss or decline in health , a new sense of meaning and a sense of purpose is recognized. If one has done the emotional footwork through out their lives these experiences can form the basis of a renewed spiritual foundation. This can only happen when one has been willing to look inward and is involved in maturation and self-development ( remember Erikson's stages of development and the outcomes necessary for successful adaptation?)

"Failure to live reflectively and to learn from experiences during earlier years will rob the elderly [or anyone for that matter] of understanding or wisdom, and perspectives which are foundations for spiritual well-being. This is especially true when they fail to recognize and respond to the call of a higher consciousness. That knowing feeling that we do not control the universe". Erikson

Aging is not like a train one passively rides until one reaches the station called "wisdom" or spiritual integration. Aging alone does not automatically confer integration with the self or with others. In other words the stereotype that all older people are wise is just that -- a stereotype. One must first do the emotional footwork to gain wisdom in old age.

Again recall Erikson.  Each of the 8 stages involves a "crisis" in personality development – a major issue that is particularly important at that time-- and will remain an issue to some degree throughout life if not addressed. Yes, if you did not resolve one of Erikson's stages you can go back and clean it up through counseling, spiritual guidance, or by belonging to self-help groups such as a 12- step program. 

Did you take the time to imagine what life might be like for an older adult who instead of finding trust
and hope found mistrust and withdrawal, and found shame and doubt, or guilt and inferiority? What might their behavior be like when confronted with stress or end of life issues ? Looking inward through out our lives gives one a perspective that immature people don't develop.

The last stage of Erikson, integrity vs. despair, demands that the person accept responsibility for what one’s life is and was. At this stage of development one must adjust to the decreasing physical strength and  activities, and adjust to retirement with possibly reduced income. Under these conditions, they must  establish satisfactory living conditions. This takes a certain amount of maturity

Without ego-integration, there is despair, usually marked by a display of displeasure and disgust. with life. Consider this when you see difficult behavior in an older adult. All behavior has meaning, even in old age. 

II. Lifecycle Theories:

Most life cycle theorists agree that from birth  human beings  psychologically  seek integration into society. We need some way to make sense of our environment and our own feelings.

In the early half of our lives most of us are pushing out aggressively, trying to make a place for ourselves in the world-- marriage, family, new homes, jobs and pleasurable activities. 

In our middle years, however, we begin to reflect and sort out the meaning of our experiences. By this time we have been confronted in ways that cause us to question our goals, our values, and our style of life. It is at this stage of life that it becomes necessary to make needed adjustments in our relationships and lifestyle.  It is at this stage that many people change careers or go back to college.

Some people become frightened and pull back from such evaluations. They may fear the possible changes to come. They plunge more heedlessly into a life of increasing frustration and loss of meaning by not addressing their emotional needs (failed relationships, financial insecurity, self esteem problems or missed the peaceful feeling that comes with knowing that you are all you can be). I call this not doing the "emotional footwork".   Emotional footwork  involves taking an accurate and conscious stock of one's life and making  needed adjustments on a daily basis. This is also the concept of psychological aging. Making needed adjustments in our thinking and actions as we age.

In place of a sense of well-being people who fail to do the necessary reflections often possess a spirit of frustration and bitterness.

Without sorting and reflection throughout life  many older people find that the sufferings and emotional feelings they have run from all of their lives comes crashing down the chute of memory.

These feelings are overwhelming because they have not developed the needed resources to cope. The lesson for younger people is that it is important to deal with the meaning of life experience at each step along the life course-- to address our emotional baggage
along the life course.

These adjustments allow one to  accept the challenges of their lives and to begin turning inward, seeking the rewards of reflection, insight, accumulation of meaning and the acquisition of higher consciousness about ourselves, others, and this world.

This is when a spiritual dimension of aging may begin to appear. Spiritual growth involves the consolidation of one's sense of identity. Seeing the self as part of the whole.

III. Spirituality and Religion.

1.Spirituality is often referred to as:

  • being concerned with strength of mind or character rather than material or worldly interests
  • spirit is a Latin word which means breath of life
  • awareness of a transcendent or inspirational dimension
  • certain values in regard to self, others, nature, life and whatever one considers to be the ultimate
  • harmonious interconnectedness

 

2.Religion has been defined as :

  1. Spirituality differs from religion in that there is not a specific teachings, dogma, ritual ,or physical participation that is necessary to have the experience.

Spirituality is further defined as  a belief in and a relationship with a higher power and the aspect of life that gives meaning, purpose, and direction to life.

Spirituality may encompass religion and religion may be a part of one’s spirituality

It can be simple- Just feeling connected to a power greater than one’s self. To have faith that one’s existence is meaningful and purposeful.

These persons may or may not practice ritual, prayer, or ceremonies. Outward signs of spirituality may not be necessary.

Spirituality has been described as a process of transformation and growth. A part of human development . It allows views and behaviors that express or give a sense of relatedness to something greater than ourselves. If one is aging successfully, it is the gift of aging.

 

IV. Motivation and Human Development-Maslow's Hierarchy of needs

Maslow's High of needs chart

As a pyramid,  the larger, lower levels represent our basic needs. With out them we would not survive. The upper point represents our need for self-actualization- to be all we can be.

Maslow- Abraham Maslow (1908-1970) viewed humans as having potential for their own personal development. His theory tries to explain what motivates individuals throughout their lives. 

He suggested, based on his observations as a humanistic psychologist, that there is a universal pattern of "needs" and "satisfaction" that people follow in a predictable order. 

Only when the lower order needs of physical and emotional well-being are satisfied are we concerned with or free to think about the higher order needs  such as esteem and self actualization. 

Conversely, if the things that satisfy our lower order needs are suddenly taken away, we are no longer concerned about the maintenance of our higher order needs. For example, if someone who is striving for self esteem suddenly finds themselves in danger, the lower basic need for safety prevails. 

Physiological Needs
These are biological needs. They consist of needs for food, clothing and shelter, and a relatively constant internal body environment. They are the strongest needs because if a person is hungry, cold or in need of shelter thoughts of higher needs (like esteem and love) are not important. One must first satisfy these lower needs before they are motivated by the next level of needs.

 

Safety Needs
When all physiological needs are satisfied and are no longer controlling thoughts and behaviors, the need for security can become active. Adults have little awareness of their security needs except in times of emergency or periods of disorganization in the social structure (such as widespread rioting). Children and frail elderly often display the signs of insecurity and the need to be safe. Consider inner city kids  or abused elderly who live with the realities of an unsafe environment. Many aging adults may be still trying to satisfy their basic need for safety. 

 

Needs of Love, Affection and Belongingness
When the need for safety and for physiological well-being are satisfied, a person will seek the next class of needs, love, affection, and belongingness . Maslow states that people seek to overcome feelings of loneliness and alienation. This involves both giving and receiving love, affection, and the sense of belonging. 

 

Needs for Esteem
When the first three classes of needs are satisfied, the needs for esteem can become dominant. This involves a need for both self-esteem and for the esteem a person gets from others. According to Maslow, humans have a need for a stable, firmly based, high level of self-respect, and respect from others. When these needs are satisfied, the person feels self-confident and valuable as a person in the world. When these needs are frustrated, the person feels inferior, weak, helpless, and worthless.

 

Needs for Self-Actualization
When all of the foregoing needs are satisfied, then and only then is the need for self-actualization activated. Maslow describes self-actualization as a person's need to be and do that which the person was "born to do." "A musician must make music, an artist must paint, and a poet must write." These needs make themselves known in signs of restlessness. The person feels on edge, tense, lacking something, in short, restless. If a person is hungry, unsafe, not loved or accepted, or lacking self-esteem, it is very easy to know what the person is restless about. It is not always clear what a person wants when there is a need for self-actualization.

Maslow believed that the only reason that people would not move well in the direction of self-actualization is because of hindrances placed in their way by society. He felt that education is one of these hindrances.

He recommends ways that education can switch from its usual person-stunting tactics to person-growing approaches. Maslow states that we should respond to the potential an individual has for growing into a self-actualizing person of his/her own kind. 

I've always contended education doesn't need to be so stressful. It should be fun. College campuses should have relaxation centers where students can stop by to get a massage or sit in a hot tub. What do you think?

V. Reminiscence and Life Review

Another method used in gerontology to help older adults work through the resolution stages in their lives is reminiscence and life review. 

Researches have defined reminiscence as the process of re-collecting past experiences and events and life review an evaluative process. One that  uses the review process to look at past conflicts.

Historically, we discourage these activities because we saw them as retreating to the past and encouraging  senility or other types of mental illness.

However, we now see them as a normal part of life. As people approach the end of their lives it is natural to want to put their life in perspective; to resolve past conflicts, grieve losses and changes, forgive oneself and others, celebrate successes and feel a sense of completion.

Erik Erikson notes that old age is the stage where older adults need to bring together their experiences with the inevitability of death. The wisdom acquired from living long enough to reach the highest level of psychosocial development 
" integrity versus despair".

Many people experience the reflective life review process at certain milestones during their lifetime. For example when we turn the big 4-0, or our 50 or 65th birthdays many of us recall life's events. 

There is a wealth of benefits from life review and reminiscence. Besides helping the elderly put their live in perspective and assisting them in moving through Erikson and Maslow's stages of development, life review:

  • increases a sense of meaning in life
  • improves problem solving skills
  • assists with the grief process
  • improves attitudes of younger adults towards older adults
  • increases emotional support for those experiencing trauma
  • decreases levels of depression.

If you have an interest in this technique, I offer two courses in gerontology (Gero 330 and Gero 334) that gives you the tools to practice life review and reminiscence.  For course descriptions visit the Gerontology Department's web site at http://www.arc.losrios.edu/~gero/

VI. How is Integrity Accomplished? Or how to find your authentic self.

Reflection- To develop spiritual maturing live reflectively- experience is a great teacher.  Reflect on it and learns form it. Learn to take a personal inventory and when you are wrong admit it.

Tolerance- Mainly tolerance for variation.  Recognize that every manifestation of life has its uniqueness- Some say that people who need to tear down others suffer from low self esteem. Learn to identify your own childhood wounds and how they affect your interpretation of other's actions.  Learn to stay on your own side of the street- your not responsible for the actions of the world. The three C's I did not cause it, I can not control it , I can not cure it.

Acceptance –Acceptance of what is leads to growth of spirit.  Don’t cling to what is irretrievably gone. It is easy to look into darkness and experience despair. Despair makes us cling all the harder to what we loss. If we will suffer the loss and feel the pain and then wait, there will come a new and greater relation to what was lost. A new sense of richness will flood us and accompany us into our old age.

Being ( not doing) We are often kept from spiritual well being by our fear of letting go, surrendering and abandoning our egoistic defenses. We are afraid of the pain so we become human doers, not a human being.

Often the inner meaning (or authentic self) takes time to find and during that time we experience discomfort. We are uncomfortable sitting and waiting for understanding so we try to push solutions and control events. Because we do not hear deeply and inwardly we often must wait for the understanding. That does not mean sitting back and ignoring the emotional footwork that needs to be done, but knowing how to let go while you take care or your own needs. 

Dialogue- Dialogue is openness. Open yourself not only to others ideas but to you and your meanings. You are important to you. Listen to your needs. Practice self care . I use an acronym from a 12 step program called "HALT".  It is a reminder to check in with yourself to see if you are  hungry, angry, lonely or tired. Self care leads to integrity.

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